CHANGE HAPPENS. I have been through a few major transitions in life. Smack in the middle of several right now. Losing a father-in-law, launching a new venture after 18 years at Willow, son turning 21, daughter going into High School, and a wife ending a significant church role in a couple weeks.

Every transition has some familiar elements that must be navigated. I am indebted to William Bridges for his work over the years on this subject. According to Bridges and others, here are some core factors in personal change & transition.

  • Transitions are normal, and will occur several times in the lifespan
  • Transitions usually involve an ending, a period of awkwardness or uncertainty, and then a new beginning.
  • Transitions can be highly emotional periods in organizational or personal life.
  • When processed well, transitions can be great times of spiritual growth or change, even though it may not feel that way.

It’s the second comment above that Bridges unpacks quite well in his book. I have read the material probably 5-6 times; each time I am usually sitting in that awkward uncertainty. Part of the awkwardness is processing your endings well. This is hard in ministry work. Sometimes others feel betrayed by your leaving, or they do not understand your motives, or they are angry that you are able to leave (and they cannot but want to). Some just do not know what to say; and sometimes you do not either.

I experienced a very clean and healthy transition from Willow, much better than other leavings through the years. But as healthy as it may be, or as necessary, leaving any group or any organization (or simply leaving an “era” of life) is always awkward at best, and can be devastating at worst.

Endings tend to start long before one actually leaves, and new beginnings can sometimes be forced on us before we have had the chance to process the ending. The awkwardness is troubling and, if not addressed, can be crippling.

I highly recommend getting a group of people around you whom you trust fully and who know you well enough to speak truth right at you. Pray and sink yourself in Scripture, particularly the wisdom literature. And read Bridges book which, ironically, is in a transition of its own — the revised 25th anniversary edition.

QUESTIONS: How do you process change? Do you do endings well? Does your organization, small group or church team do this well?

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