My wife was prepping an Easter salad while I did odd jobs around the house. Ready to mix the dressing in the blender, she saw a small crack in the plastic casing. “Hey Bill, can you put some crazy glue on this?”
“Sure!” I have no mechanical skills, but I’m the McGyver of crazy glue repairs. I can build a suspension bridge with crazy glue and duct tape! I located the flaw, squeezed the miracle fluid into the crack, and soon declared victory. A former IBM systems engineer, she appreciated my vast technical prowess.
She turned the blender on, but instead of a smooth buzz we heard metal grinding against glass, accompanied by violent shaking, while the kitchen filled with the smoke of burning plastic. Ugh! (We all know a salad without dressing is like…like kale!)
Stress Fractures
I bought a new blender, redeemed myself and saved the salad. When I looked at the damage this little crack caused, it was clear the twisting force from the blades – torque – produced more pressure than the little crack could withstand.
Stress fractures are rarely problematic – until placed under pressure. Life, love and work are no different. We dismiss a little fatigue, ignore the frustration of constant schedule changes, justify taking on extra work, deny relational tension, and just keep pushing ahead.
The pressures mount and cracks become deep fissures, breaking friendships, limiting effectiveness, and leaving us depleted. A friend remarked sadly, “At this point I’m just so tired! It’s a deep, constant exhaustion…a weariness I just can’t handle. ”
Three Kinds of Stress
Stress can cause you to burnout, fizzle out, or just plain drop out. I describe 3 kinds of stress in a few short videos you can find here, where I unpack some first steps and next steps for addressing each. Here they are:
VOCATIONAL RELATIONAL EMOTIONAL
We know these 3 are inseparable, overlapping in a number of areas. One may arise from the others, or may cause the others. But each has unique aspects we can observe. We can identify the causes behind these stresses, and explore the degree to which they manifest themselves in life and leadership.
Vocational Stress
Stress at work arises in 4 areas, expressed in these questions.
- Performance Challenges – Can I do my job well?
- Management Challenges – How does my boss view me?
- Cultural Challenges – Do I feel safe and supported in my workplace?
- Resource Challenges – Do I/we have what we need…time, talent and treasure?
Which of these is the most challenging for you? How does this stress impact your behavior and attitude at work?
Relational Stress
This can develop anywhere we have people in our lives, which is everywhere! And there is a lot of overlap here with emotional stress. But let’s hone in on 3 key aspects of relational stress. Relational stress builds up when…
- Affirmation is Absent – We never hear “Well done!” from others
- Conflict is Avoided – We shy away from hard conversations
- Competition Supersedes Community – Winning at all costs rules the day
So which of these is draining your relational energy the most? With whom do you see it happening?
Emotional Stress
Emotions can be volatile and intense, showing up uninvited. How do we handle bouts of anger, fear, sadness, joy, confusion…or do we? Three major emotional triggers can cause these very normal, but powerful reactions:
- Pain – Physical and psychological trauma that wound us deeply
- Loss – A death, losing a job, friendships ending, a colleague retires, new surroundings
- Failure – Often we turn to blame, shame and guilt when failing at love and work
Which of these triggers are you experiencing now, and what emotions are consuming you?
In times of prolonged stress, it is important to identify root causes so the cracks don’t become chasms. Now that you have done some exploring of the causes, I hope you’ll join me here as I offer personal strategies for navigating these stresses, so the fractures don’t become fissures.
Recent Comments